The Brave Cook

My life from the heart of Berlin!

Archive for the tag “Baking”

The Story of Lu & Mithi: The Love and the End

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Now I told the story of Lu & Mithi. The story that had to do with the past years of my life.

The relationship between me and Mithi ended and there is nothing to bring it back the way it was before. We would both have to move on with our lifes and make the best out of it. Of course, there is no hate or other bad feelings left between us for each other. We still consider ourselves good friends and we know that in case of any kind of help we can rely on each other. However, we do not want to depend on each other or to bring back old feelings.

I think, Mithi is handling the whole thing way better than me. He is focusing on his job and on earning money as well as finding a caring partner. He is doing it quite well and I am very happy for him. I am also busy with my job and with saving up some money. I know I have to look out for someone new too but it is pretty difficult to do it on purpose. In the end love and a relationship cannot be forced. Only time and coincidence will make it come true.

I am taking the good things out of the relationship with Mithi for my future life. I have found a true friend with a good heart. Someone, who is also struggling to find the same things in life. Mithi taught me many things. He taught me how to be strong and not to give up. He taught me to be patient. He inspired me to be creative and to try out new things. He believed in my dreams and most of all he showed me true love.

Life is not always easy and it is not always blessed but knowing Mithi is a true blessing and I am thankful for it. So this is the end of the story. And it ends with love. The love will always remain.

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The Story of Lu & Mithi: The Conscience

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It never feels good coming back home from holidays. It always felt strange and empty to me. This time, it was worse in many ways. I already said how much I was crying when I left Mithi in India. I thought this was only a good-bye phase. But it was not. I felt sad for the next days and weeks and I was crying a lot. I was crying for so many reasons. It was as if my heart and mind had been awaken and as if I was brought back to my previous condition. I could finally see and feel everything so clearly. And I realised it was too late.

I was expecting Mithi would talk to me the same way he did before my visit. Instead, he did not call me again. It was only me contacting him. And he did seem to be annoyed or bored with me contacting him and talking to him. He did not consider me as his partner anymore. Of course, it pained me a lot but I could understand his behaviour. It was his reaction to my behaviour. His decision to let me go.

I was unable to let go of him in that way. For me he was still my precious darling in my heart and I could not imagine to let the days go by without talking to him or to close that chapter of my life so suddenly. I kept sending him messages and telling him how much I miss him and that I still love him. He did respond sometimes but I could see that there were no deep feelings from his side anymore. I had no choice. I could not force him to talk to me or to change his feelings. Words are not as strong as actions. So the only thing left for me was to cry my heart out and get over it. I did not cry every day though. It was more like sudden crying attacks bursting out of me. But even after many months it was still not over with the crying.

My conscience was very hard on me. I was reflecting on my behaviour and my words I showed the last months and I could not believe that this was me. I never wanted to become such a person. I wanted to be the person I was before. This was simply not the way this love was supposed to end…

The Story of Lu & Mithi: The Cold

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So in the middle of my depression being apart from Mithi and developing feelings for another person I made the decision to visit my darling in Mangalore, staying in his family’s house with him and his parents. I was debatting with Mithi a couple of times if this was the right time for me to come since I was such a wreck emotionally, but I insisted to come. I could not stand the feeling of being apart even longer from him. And I also needed a break from my life and routine in Berlin to find inner peace again.

When I arrived in Mangalore after a long flight I was greeted and taken care of so warm by Mithi and also by his parents. I felt at home right away. They did everything to make my visit as comfortable and nice as possible. I felt so blessed during that time. The climate with rain showers in the evening, our trips with the scooter to the city, visiting the coast and seeing the beach, going to the church together. So many beautiful moments that I will never forget. The first days felt like I finally left my life in Berlin behind.

Sadly, I was still not over the last months and I had difficulties to open up as much as I should have during my visit. After all, it was the time to be with Mithi and to enjoy every moment with him as much as possible. It was the time to hold him, to kiss him, to tell him how much I love him. Instead, I was cold. I was cold and I did not notice it because I was so busy in my mind to find my own inner peace that I overlooked what this all actuallly was about. It was not about me, it was about us, about sharing my feelings and my life with another person instead of sealing myself off from everyone.

Of course, Mithi was feeling my cold and after the first days he started to leave me to myself thinking I would not have any true feelings for him. He could only see my depressed and cold self. When the last days of my visit finally arrived I started feeling sadness, knowing that I would be leaving soon and get back to my life in Berlin without Mithi by my side. I was unable to find the right words back then to tell Mithi how sorry I felt for my cold behaviour and that I was unable to open up to him the way I should have done it as his partner. I was crying the last night and day a lot. Even at the airport I could not hold back my tears. The only thing was, I did not show my tears to Mithi. What meaning would my tears have to him, if I was unable to turn my feelings into actions?

So I returned back to Berlin and I was unsure if I actually felt better or worse. The next days and weeks would show…

An important anouncement!

IMGP0683I was thinking a lot about my blog the last couple of weeks. Looking back I can truly say that it was successful and definitely the way I wanted it to turn out. On the other hand I was quite busy the last months teaching myself to sew to improve my skills and to be able to make my own clothes. All I can say is that I’ve learned a lot so far and I’m continuing to teach myself and to try new things out. The only problem of it all is that sewing and pattern-making takes a lot of time. Since fashion has been my love for many years now I’ve made the decision to indulge into it very deep this year and to devote my free time completely to cloth-making. I don’t want to give up my blog, but use it to share with all of you who are interested my steps and progress in making clothes. I’m still not sure about the name and the design of my blog. Maybe i will not change it completely. I’m still very thankful to all of you who decided to follow my blog and I hope that most of you will continue enjoy and to follow my journey. As for now, I’m presenting you my last recipe so far. A ginger loaf with rose petals and white chocolate.

Ingredients

  • 350 g plain flour
  • 1 tsp baking powder
  • 1 tsp bicarbonate of soda
  • 3 – 4 tsp ground ginger
  • 8 globes preserved stem ginder in syrup or honey, drained and chopped
  • 125 g butter, softened
  • 100 g light sugar
  • 225 g golden syrup or honey
  • 1 egg, beaten
  • 75 ml milk
  • a bunch of roses

Instructions

Grease and line a 900 g loaf tin with non-stick baking paper. Preheat the oven to 160 ° C. Sift together the flour, baking powder, bicarbonate of soda and ground ginger. Set aside. Chop the globes of the ginger and add to the flour mixture. I’ve used some preserved ginger in honey. IMGP0633 IMGP0641Melt the butter sugar and golden syrup/honey in a small pan. Set aside to cool slightly. Beat the egg and milk together. Stir the cold syrup/honey into the dry ingredients, followed by the egg and milk and beat well. If you like you can use some of the rose petals and add into the mixture. It will give the loaf an interesting taste.

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Spoon into the tin, bake for about 1 1/4 hours until just firm to the touch. Cool on a wire rack and decorate with a white chocolate couverture and the rose petals the way you like it. Enjoy and have a great weekend!IMGP0675

The Brave Cook

Some baking before Christmas

IMGP0631The holidays are coming closer and I’m pretty happy about that because it means that I have almost two weeks off to work on so many projects. I really hope to finish some of my projects that are already rotating in my head for a long time. As the weather is pretty wet and cold outside it’s the perfect time to stay in the kitchen and to do some baking. I like baking more than cooking even though you end up with more stuff to clean.

I’ve found a recipe online for a white chocolate orange cake and I’ve changed it a little bit by adding red currant to it. Due to the fact that I will be very busy during my christmas holidays my next post will be in two weeks. I thought that this would be the perfect post to wish you all a lovely christmas and happy holidays!

Ingredients

For the sponge mixture:

  • 200 grams flour
  • 280 grams sugar
  • 80 grams cocoa, sifted
  • 100 ml milk
  • 10 eggs
  • 1 dash of salt

For the cream filling:

  • 6 leaves gelatin
  • 1 liter orange juice
  • 50 grams jam sugar
  • 300 grams white chocolate, broken up
  • 800 ml whipped cream

Instructions

In the original recipe there was a different instruction for the icing but I wanted to cover the complete cake with the white chocolate cream so I simply made more of the white chocolate cream by adding the extra chocolate to it. To make a separate icing you need to take 250 grams of chocolate and mix it with 80 ml whipped cream.

First start with the sponge mixture. Preheat the oven to 160 C°. Grease and base line a 20cm round, deep cake tin with baking paper. Separate the eggs, beat the whites until stiff. Add the sugar and the yolks first. Now add the flour, the cocoa and the milk, beat until smooth, then tip into the tin. Bake for 30 minutes. Cool in the tin for 30 minutes, then turn out onto a wire rack and cool completely. Using a bread knife, halve the cake horizontally in three round pieces.IMGP0604IMGP0608Melt the chocolate in a pan over low heat. In the meantime, soak the gelatin. Add the orange juice and the whipped cream to the melted chocolate. Do the same with the soaked gelatin. Put the mixture for some minutes into the fridge to let it thicken slightly, but do not allow to get too stiff.

Put one half of the cake into a spring form pan, leave a gap on the outside and spread the cream filling over it. To give it a little bit of color and fruity taste, I added some red currant to the recipe. If  you want to do the same, you need to add now some red current over the first half. Now cover with the second half and spread the cream filling again over it until the spring form pan is filled with it on each side. Decorate with the red currant or any other fruit. Alternatively you can use orange stripes for decoration. Let the cream thicken in the fridge for 30 minutes or more, remove the spring form pan when the cream is firm enough.IMGP0616IMGP0621The Brave Cook

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